In high school, all I wanted to do was fit in.

But deep down I knew that to fit in I would compromise who I was and who I wanted to become.

I tried to ignore this for a while and still tried to fit in. Putting on a persona of who I thought people wanted me to be.

But I found 2 things. 1. People could tell it wasn't me 2. I didn't like putting on a persona.

"Be Yourself"

We've all heard that classic cliche. I think there is a lot of truth to it though. But you just have to be confident with who yourself is and wait for the right people to find you. In my freshman year, I couldn't find anyone with whom I could even be 40% of myself.

I had to be honest with myself and realize that high school was not the path for me. Looking back on high school it can be a bit painful thinking about a fantasy of where I was a normal "high schooler". But at the end of the day, I have to be honest with myself and just accept I'm not like most kids.

Even when I got into college at 16 and I was surrounded by more like-minded individuals I still probably could only be 60% of who I was there. I had different views on the education system than most. And obviously, that opinion is very odd to have when you're on an extremely academic path.

So I had to be honest with myself again and realize this wasn't my path either. This one was more painful because I felt I had made the closest friends by far out of my years of schooling in just a few months. And I felt that I was throwing an amazing opportunity away.

But being honest with myself was the best decision I ever made.

That's why I argue that the greatest character trait of the 21st century (but really of all time) is honesty.

What happens when you are not honest

Most people spend time running circles around the real issue rather than addressing it.

They know what's causing their pain. They know the relationship they need to leave. They know what the problem is but rather than being honest with themselves they numb it. They go find other less important problems that are causing it. Or they just numb themselves with instant gratification. They find coping mechanisms to help them deal with their pain rather than addressing what's causing the pain.

Addressing the problem at its root requires honesty. It will be painful.

People will drink beer, eat ice cream, and work out all as coping mechanisms rather than addressing what is the real problem. I'm not saying you should never do any of these things but they for the most part are just kicking the can down the road.

It's just a bandaid for the problem that eventually falls off until you find another new bandaid.

People will choose being liked instead of being honest. Since self-honesty requires you to speak the truth it can cause you to feel like an outsider. I've experienced this firsthand throughout school and that's why I would compromise who I was to fit in. Especially as a teenager because that's a point in life where you're most susceptible to compromising yourself to fit in.

But if you fit in everywhere then you don't exist. Your authentic and honest self can't fit in with everyone.

"Honesty is the best policy"

You might think that this is just a cliche that your parents told you to make you behave and it doesn't really matter.

As it turns out most cliches and platitudes have an incredible amount of truth in them.

Being dishonest with yourself and others just doesn't work.

You never get away with anything even if you think you do.

If you're stealing and don't get caught it affects you psychologically. You might have gotten away unscathed physically but mentally you haven't.

You can't bend the fabric of reality for your gain and expect it not to snap back at you. And most of the time when it snaps back it does so disproportionately to how much you bent it.

No one gets away with not being honest with themselves and others.

To prevent being honest, people will disconnect from themselves. This disconnection causes them to be unable to care for themselves and live a good life. Because how can you care for something that you are disconnected to?

It would be like trying to water a plant except your disconnected to the plant. So you don't know when it needs to get watered and when it doesn't, this means you'll end up killing it. That's the same with disconnection. You'll end up killing your authentic and honest self until all that's left is an illusion of who you are.

With the plant, you could be so disconnected from what's going on with the plant that while it's dying you convince yourself that everything is fine and it's doing well. But to reconnect with reality you have to be honest with yourself and realize the truth.

Living an honest life

In the long term being honest, is worth it. The reason it can be so painful in the short term is that most of the pain and suffering you have is self-inflicted. So it's painful to realize that but so incredibly freeing because if it's self-inflicted it means you can stop inflicting it and make a change.

This self-honesty is applicable in many areas.

This relates to relationships, business, and everything. You will progress so much faster with yourself when you're honest. It means you see reality as it truly is so you can attack the root rather than doing things that sound and look nice but do nothing.

This can aid in the improvement of your mind because if you are honest with yourself and see things at they truly are. This means you can address the things that are negatively impacting your mental state the most. Ex. toxic people in your life, poor environment, and bad eating.

The reason it aids in all of these areas is that it doesn't allow you to fall into escapism or disconnection. Escapism is where you numb yourself so you don't have to be honest. People do this in a variety of ways: drinking, porn, fake food, most of the time it is instant gratification. When you are no longer numbing yourself with instant gratification you're more connected to yourself and live a happier life. This means you will have long-term enjoyment so you don't hate the life you live.

Being honest with yourself doesn't just help you in your general quality of life but it also helps you in your business.

It helps you save time so you can build your business and do the activities you enjoy. You you have more freedom because you're addressing the root problem. Since your not wasting your time on the problems that aren't actually causing the issue. And just focusing on the root you conserve energy and get better results for your business.

For example, if you're not growing on social media. You might think the problem is that you just haven't found the right template, formula, or hack. When in reality if you are honest with yourself you know you have not nailed the fundamentals of persuasion, writing, and getting distribution.

See how self-honesty helps you in all areas of life?

You will progress faster because you see yourself and reality as it truly is so you can self-actualize and create more impact.

Now probably the most fun and most difficult part about being honest with yourself and others is that you will live a life of adventure.

If you speak the truth to yourself and others you will live a life of adventure because you're not peddling to what you think other people want to hear. Instead you're speaking your mind.

This type of honesty gives you a life of adventure because not everyone is going to like what you think. And that's fine because not everyone should like you!

Being honest and speaking the truth doesn't mean you're not open to new perspectives either. Being an honest person means that you are a truth seeker. You have humility, you're not afraid to share your thoughts, but you're also not afraid to change and adapt as you learn more.

You can't be adaptive without honesty. If you're not honest with yourself you can fool yourself into thinking that what has been working still works. And that it will always work when in reality the world is changing and evolving.

Being an honest person is a requirement to live the good life.

You can't see reality as it is without being honest. If you can't see reality as it is then you can't live the good life.

Being honest means that you know yourself better. This helps you move closer to mental mastery and thus helps you to live the good life.

Like I said earlier it also means you live an adventurous life. I think at the end of the day that is one of the big things that we want. When you are on your deathbed you're not going to be satisfied looking back at all the times where you didn't give everything you had, where you lied to appease people, or where you played it safe. At least I know I won't be.

Your life is a story. A story has ups and downs because it is an adventure and being honest allows you to experience the adventure that is life to the fullest extent.

30-Day Self-Reflection and Honesty Challenge

This challenge is designed to cultivate honesty in yourself as well as outwardly

These first 30 days will be intense and it isn't for everyone. But if you follow through you will be more honest with yourself. These 30 days will be very consciously focused on being honest through certain exercises.

After 30 days, you can continue these exercises. Or you may feel that after the 30 days can go throughout your day and hold yourself accountable to be honest without the exercises.

1) Honest Journaling

Journal every day and note where you weren't acting in alignment with honesty/truth.

In the beginning, there will likely be many areas and you will likely miss instances where you aren't being truthful. But over time by bringing awareness to this you will become more honest or at least not lie.

Bringing awareness to something is the first step.

Most of the time in our lives we don't bring our conscious attention to the things we know we shouldn't be doing because it's painful to look at.

But by looking at it you move a step closer to stopping that behavior.

2) Honest Brainstorming

Brainstorm the problems that you have and be as honest with yourself as possible when trying to determine the root.

These can be problems in:

• Health

• Business

• Relationships

And more.

The key is to contemplate and ask yourself what the root of this problem is. Most of the time I've found it's self-inflicted. Even if you are in a toxic relationship and think it's the other person's fault for your suffering. YOU are the one that stayed in the relationship.

3) Honest Interactions

In interactions be as honest as possible (without being rude as long as it doesn't compromise who you are). Especially when honesty serves to strive upward.

Often people will be honest in a rude way to inflate their ego. This isn't the type of honesty we are going for.

This type of honesty in interactions is striving upward. Standing for yourself and what you believe to be good and true.

By doing those first 2 there will be more conscious attention on being honest. So you will likely end up paying more attention to being honest in interactions as a by-product.

4) Reflect on what you are worshipping

You're always worshipping something when you go through the experience of life.

Are you worshipping truth and goodness?

Or are you worshipping Status, Power, Wealth, or Pleasure?

This one has been incredibly powerful for me.

I know I'm off track or about to be when I start worshipping those other 4 besides truth and goodness.

5) Start a creator business

I know this might seem like it came out of nowhere but I promise you this is one of the best ways to cultivate honesty.

The reason?

You can find like-minded individuals online who are also in pursuit of truth.

In your physical location, it may be difficult to find individuals who are on a similar path. This can make it more difficult, to be honest.

However, with a creator business, you build an audience and network that is around your curiosity and your pursuit of truth.

You are financially rewarded for being in pursuit of the truth and being honest.

When you speak your honest opinion you attract the people that resonate and repel the people that don't.

I promise you there are at least one thousand people who think similarly about life that you do.

This means you don't have to compromise your true thoughts and put on a persona instead you can lean into who you honestly are.

It's a path of self-discovery.

I'm not going to cover exactly how to build/start a creator business in this newsletter as I've covered it many times before.

If you want to dive deeper you can check out these two newsletters on the topic: This business model made me $1337 as a 16-year-old and The Creator Business Blueprint.

That's all for this letter.

Hope you enjoyed it,

Christian.

PS.

Let me know if you're going to start the challenge by replying to this newsletter with the word "Honest".